Almost every one of my days is the same routine: wake up, brush my teeth, do homework if it’s assigned for the day, and play video games until I go to bed, taking breaks to eat, photograph, drink, and do whatever chores I’m tasked with for the day. Every day feels identical to the last, and I’m just watching as the dust gathers on every surface. I remember thinking that most people were overreacting about the quarantine situation, but after spending a few months deprived of social interaction or anything meaningful to do, I think that I may understand what those people meant.

Sunlight shining through my window’s blinds.

Easter themed window stickers. They are all covered in dead insects.

Every day my conscience is filled with a jumble of thoughts; curiosities, regrets, and future goals I have. A great way for me to physically render these thoughts is through photographs. I think of the state of our world, with the virus and the protests being some of the major things sparking thoughts and opinions recently. I also think of the different things I could be capable of once I own a car and I can drive myself anywhere I want to go.

Violets growing the day after a rainstorm, viewed from the sunroom. It’s intriguing how they grew so fast.

View through my bedroom window during a snowstorm. Odd how it’s snowing in the middle of May.

I regret not making more friends at school. Quarantine has caused me to feel a loneliness greater than I’ve ever felt before. I rarely hear from the friends I once had, who I could genuinely express my emotions and thoughts to. As for the people I do speak to, it’s difficult for me to show how I really feel to them - leaving me emotionally reserved and mentally drained on my worst days.

Snow on the wooden bench in my front yard. Summer is coming soon apparently.

View of a neighboring building through the backdoor of my home.

Photo of the gate leading to my backyard, taken during a snowstorm.

The dynamics of my family haven’t changed very much. My father is now working over in Manhattan to oversee the protests, so he isn’t home as often as usual. My mother and I work together to get the chores done since we’re the ones most capable of doing so, since my sister is 5 years younger than I am, and my father is at work. When he is home, he spends the majority of his time sleeping because he doesn't get any rest on his work days. With my sister being so young, she's unaware of the significance of what’s going on in our country at the moment. It isn’t her fault, but at times I can’t help but envy her ignorance. 

Bouquet of flowers placed on the centerpiece of the dinner table. The flowers are close to death.

The day after my father's birthday. No one has taken down the decorations yet.

My mother had baked me a cake for my 15th birthday.

Photography helps me take these thoughts and emotions (both positive and negative) and create art out of it that I can be proud of. I often have difficulty with communicating verbally. Photography may end up being a means in which people can better understand me than I ever could with words alone. COVID-19 has changed both my own and millions of other people’s day-to-day life. I believe with a sufficient outlet to express one’s thoughts and feelings like photography, it could help lessen fear and worry as we learn to cope with the current circumstances better.

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